Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
