morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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