dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
