He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize