Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
