he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
