Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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