batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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