please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I want to be your penis for a week.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
