Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
