She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
