i may or may not be watching the land before time
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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