fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Green mimosas i think yes
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
