At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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