That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
