erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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