Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
