check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
