Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
