Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
