Soap is not a condiment
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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