You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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