Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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