The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
