I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
