I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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