Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
