he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
