I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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