Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
