So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
