im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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