my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
