I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
