is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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