dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
