in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
