whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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