I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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