in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
