I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
