I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
