Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
