just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
