i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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