Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
