We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
