i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
