Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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