we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
