I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No subtext here. People are naked.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
