and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
