Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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