I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
