The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
